T-minus Three Weeks

Almost to the minute I've hit the three week mark, as in my surgery date is three weeks from today. There's a lot of things I can't do already, but the toughest ones include:
- Limiting my vitamin E intake, which means my multivitamin is now out. Specifically, I cannot have more than 100% of my daily RDA (recommended daily allowance) of vitamin E as recognized by the FDA.
- No more asprin, which is an active ingredient in all headache medicines except Tylenol.
Amazingly...and thankfully, I don't have to stop hormones until two weeks prior. I guess this depends on the surgeon. Some require stopping four weeks prior, and that scares me. I know I'm still young but the spectre of potential bone deterioration still haunts the back of my mind.

As for my state of mind, well my anxiety level hasn't changed on a day-to-day basis. In fact, it may have increased, and I pretty much know why. My entire life it seems that something that should be a positive experience ends up going wrong or getting tainted somehow. Oversimplify it as pessimism if you will, but I almost expect something to go horribly wrong...my plane gets delayed, I get read at work because of the NOT PRIVATE ENOUGH bathroom stalls. (seriously, people, don't leave such sizeable gaps between panels in the stalls, GOD...) Or perhaps the biggest of all cosmic jokes, something goes wrong with the surgery itself.

Mind you, I will attempt to minimize the chance of something going wrong. I'm playing it safe these last few weeks to avoid any situation I could get read, even if it means ditching plans that have even a minor level of risk. I'm also trying to make sure I won't get sick by using supplements, but there's no guarantees with that.

Aside from that anxiety, I'm also forced to finally resolve issues involving those that don't approve of what I'm doing. I shouldn't care at all what they think, and yet it still occupies the back of my mind. I went into this knowing I'd lose much if not all of my family, but I lost them in a bad way. (got some back, but meh) Also have to learn to live with the negative depictions of us in the media. I'm not an activist, I think trying to change this will only backfire in a way similar to the Streisand Effect. In the end, it's foolish of me to be thinking of this now because I already had an orchidectomy over four years ago. Hah.

Anyway, that's me T minus three weeks. I don't expect everyone to appreciate the lengths of my posts, but I want to keep this blog as real and uncensored as possible. You'll thank me when I'm blogging at T plus 7 hours. Here's a preview of what it'll probably look like:
"asdeff I adhad itbvdone aand I'm wioooooooooozyyyy moooore morphine yeeeee!!!!!!!"