And now for something completely different...

Just something on my mind I need to get off my chest. (no pun intended) My mind has been wondering in and out of the idea of unnecessary FFS. I go in and out of periods where I feel FFS is necessary, sometimes in a single day. Others in the group have had FFS even though everyone thought they looked fine. So I'm going to do the cliche blogger thing and coin a phrase now. "Jenna Bush Syndrome". Please use it from here on out.

Jenna Bush Syndrome is named such because if you look close enough (and you don't really have to, so long as you have the idea in your head) Jenna Bush looks a lot like Dubya. In a couple pictures I've seen, it looked like Dubya's face was photoshopped onto Jenna's body, but the resemblence is pretty obvious in most every picture I've seen of her.
So for most transwomen, the Jenna Bush Syndrome is that they can't accept facial features from their male years being on their female selves, and have to change them. This is normal and well known, but for me it's more complicated. I transitioned 13 years ago, so I barely remember my male years anymore. The pictures from that era are long gone. What's burned into my head is that I have a brother who is mentally troubled. Troubled in a way that was troubling for the rest of the family. Unfortunately, appearance-wise there's a clear connection between me and him, so when I look in the mirror, it's not only the old self that I worry about, but it's also him. Plus it's not only gender, but it's his flaws that I torture myself to prevent myself from carrying. My rational side realizes how foolish this is, but everyone's irrational sometimes...

So it's two things that I need to learn to live with. Though the majority of glances in the mirror don't show this resemblence. I look way more like my sister nowadays.
Of course, I could just get FFS like everyone else and make it go away. hehe...