So the downside to painkillers at night is the state it puts me in makes it a little hard for me to sleep. I think quite a bit. I finally got a dose of self-validation as I've been paying more attention to my sensations. At times I'd mis-identify my midsection sensations because they familiar. At times I'd worry that because it uses the same nerve endings as the old equipment and because it seemed familiar, that nothing really changed, and yet that didn't bother me. Well I decided to relax, pay more attention to said sensations, though the position of everything was external pre-srs which caused said confusion, the position of them now is internal. I can actually feel that vividly if I limit my senses to that area. The familiarity is because it's how I always imagined it, it was present in both T-related and non-T related dreams, and it just comes naturally to me. This pretty much provided me with the final bit of self-validation I needed. This whole time I was at peace even though my brain wasn't 100% sure what was going on because it's been righted by surgery.
It's happy day in my little corner of the blogosphere. :) (spheres have corners now)
So yeah, you people who claim there's no such thing as gender dysphoria, go spend the night alone with a turkey baster and have a nice day. :)
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